


Stanley Blues

by msrogersstark



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, this really hurt to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-16 04:06:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msrogersstark/pseuds/msrogersstark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathan Toews actually was injured on the Boychuk hit and then again on the Chara one. Patrick/Johnny stuff ensues. Established relationship. Takes place the day they win the Stanley cup this year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just couldn't help but write this after yesterday's game. Please comment and tell me what you think!! And sorry for the terrible formatting. This website hates Google Docs. It also won't let me check my spelling.

_Gary Bettman is really shor_ t Patrick Kane thought as he skated forward to recieve the MVP trophy. He smiled at Gary and then smiled for the picture. The smile was fake. Sure, he was happy maybe even ecstatic but he was worried and beyond frustrated. And his main point of frustration was with one Zdeno Chara (not to mention the officials but who was ever happy with them). Yes, Zdeno was a very good player and a good guy but when you ram the head of Patrick Kane’s boyfriend into the post for no apparent reason, you are no longer on his good side. He was worried because Jonathan Toews was not being his usual self. His nickname was Mr. Serious but this was the Stanley Cup! He knew this was what Johnny was waiting for. He knew Johnny wanted to be there because he’d played tonight. So why wasn’t he happy?

 

The handshake was Johnny’s favorite part of the playoffs. Everything that happened on the ice was erased and you could finally talk to your friend on the other team without being called out for “fraternizing” with the enemy. He finished the line before many of his teammates had and watched them. Patrick seemed tense. Sure, he was smiling and not the most “huggy” person ever but he didn’t seem...open. Johnny watched as Patrick got to Tyler Seguin in line. Those two had been good friends for a while now and had even been teammates earlier during the lockout. Patrick fully embraced Tyler and spoke to him for a little bit. Johnny knew that was supposed to make him jealous. It probably would have if he wasn’t immensely happy that Patrick was enjoying himself.

When they finally left the ice surface and headed down the walk to the dressing room, Johnny’s vision was cloudy. That was not a good sign. But all of his team was smiling and patting his back and just so happy that he wasn’t gonna let it dampen their spirits, especially not Patrick’s. He sat down in his stall and changed quickly. He was back in his suit before half of his teammates even had their skates off. He was feeling sick but the small discreet smiles Patrick was sending him made him feel better.

 

The fact that Johnny was sitting in his stall, staring at the wall, completely changed and out of it made Patrick worry. He’d seen that look before. It happened when Johnny was stuck in his head. He’d replay the game and pick at all of the things he’d done wrong and figure out how he could have helped his team more. Patrick hated when he did that. Slowly he got up and made his way across the room to where Johnny was sitting. He sat down on the beside him, touching his shoulder gently.

“Johnny” Patrick said. Johnny didn’t answer.

 

  
“Johnny” Patrick said, shoving him gently “The game is over. The season is over. We won. We did our best. YOU did your best.”

Johnny nodded slowly and Patrick rubbed his back. The rest of their team had undressed and were walking around the dressing room discreetly trying to watch what was going on between the two men. Johnny began to relax and whispered in Patrick’s ear “My head hurts”

“Well maybe if you stayed out of there... oh...” Patrick trailed off as he realized what Johnny meant.

“Maybe you should tell someone”

“No” Johnny said “I won’t ruin this for them”

He gestured to his teammates. Patrick bit his lip. Too many hockey players had their careers ended by not telling people about their concussions. But he knew that Johnny was right. “Soon then ok?” Patrick said finally.

Johnny nodded again and Patrick smiled at him. The bus ride to the hotel wasn’t long but it was boring and Patrick’s seatmate was half asleep. It was good though. Johnny needed to rest and it was very early in the morning. Most of his team was either on their phone’s or chatting with each other. Everyone was slowly coming down from their adrenaline. They were lucky. Johnny’s adrenaline had run out fast and he’d crashed pretty hard.

Patrick grabbed the room key from Coach Quinville and hefted the duffel bag he was carrying higher on his shoulder. Johnny stood beside him, doing his best to remain upright. They took the elevator up to their floor and closed the door, sticking the “Do not disturb” sign on the doorknob.

Patrick dropped his bag on the extra bed and flicked on the TV.

“If they’re playing the game, I don’t want to watch” Johnny said from across the room.

“It’s just the handshake and the cup presentation”

“Congrats again by the way” Johnny said, sitting on the edge of the other bed. Patrick smiled his thank you.

“Need to shower?” He asked Johnny

“Probably should” Johnny answered but made no move to stand up.

“Ok let’s do that then” Patrick stood up and hauled Johnny to his feet.

Patrick turned on the water, gently pushing Johnny under it. Patrick grabbed the shampoo from the duffel bag and rubbed it into Johnny’s hair, careful not to bump his head too much. Johnny smiled slightly and leaned into Patrick’s touch. Patrick cleaned Johnny and himself, making sure to steady Johnny anytime he looked like he might pass out.

Johnny toweled himself dry and left the bathroom. They were playing highlights from the game on the TV now and Johnny’s hand fumbled for the remote. The Announcer was talking about why the blackhawks had had such a bad start. He flipped the channel and saw the pannel discussing Johnny’s previous game’s injury and saying that he wasn’t 100% and the team shouldn’t have played him.

“Ignore it” Patrick said, standing in front of the TV and hitting the power button.

“Are they right?” Johnny asked

“Ignore it!” Patrick raised his voice Johnny shivered at the tone. Patrick softened feeling a bit guilty.

“They’re job is to pick us apart. It makes them money. Ignore them.” Johnny nodded and bit his lip. “If they honestly cared about us, they’d be saying how great it was that we won, not why we should’ve lost.” Patrick said walking around the bed.

Johnny stood up “You’re right”

“I know” Patrick smirked Johnny smiled and shook his head lightly.

“C’mon you love me for it” Patrick said, grinning.

“Go to bed, Patty”

“Don’t call me Patty!” Patrick said, mock hurt lacing his voice, but he did as he was told. Johnny lay down on the other side of the bed, pulling the covers over them. Patrick rolled closer so he was nose to nose with Johnny and kissed his lips gently. “Night” Patrick said against Johnny’s mouth. “Night” Johnny smiled and closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny convinces Patrick to let them go to the bar with the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow i've had some really great comments so far! Thanks guys. Hope this is going the way you want.

Johnny didn’t sleep that night, consequently neither did Patrick. He spent most of the time making trips between the sink and the toilet. Johnny spent the night throwing up everything in his system and nearly passing out with his head in the toilet. Patrick was beyond worried and his resolve to go along with Johnny’s wishes was very nearly gone. The only thing holding him together at this point was the absolutely heartbreaking look he received from Johnny as the evidence of his concussion came up. Patrick dropped to his kneels beside Johnny and embraced him, mumbling anything he could think of to comfort Johnny. He managed to convince Johnny to sleep for about an hour even if it was on the floor in front of the toilet. Patrick however had no sleep at all. 

When Johnny managed to drag himself away from the bathroom and feel good enough to leave the room, Sharpy called.  
“The team’s heading to the bar down the street if you guys want to come with”  
Patrick had received the email about staying in Boston a day longer but he didn’t know they were planning on drinking all night. He hesitated, about to decline when Johnny spoke up.  
“We’ll be there”  
Patrick hung up the phone. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”  
“Hanging with the team”  
“You’re so fucking sick it’s not even funny.” Patrick said, voice raising to a place he didn’t really want it to go to.  
“I’m not sick... I’m just...”  
“You’ve just got an injury that could end your season not to mention your life!” Patrick was yelling now and it really hurt Johnny’s head.  
“I’ll be fine for one trip to the bar and the flight home and then we’re done.”  
“The minute we step off that plane tomorrow you’re telling Quinville that you’ve got a concussion no matter how much sleep both of us manage to get tonight.”  
Johnny sighed  
“I won’t let you pretend this isn’t happening Tazer”  
Johnny knew he was a little bit forgiven because Patrick used that nickname.  
“Ok...” Johnny managed.  
Patrick smiled and hugged him gently. “It’s for your own good”  
“I know” And Johnny did know. He just hated the looks he received. The pity and the hate. And then the media got involved and it gave him more of a headache than he’d already had. 

They made it to the bar without too many problems. It wasn’t hard to find the team. They’d practically rented out the bar and were all talking a little too loudly for Johnny. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea ever. It became a worse idea when Johnny and Patrick somehow got separated and someone managed to force a drink into Johnny’s hand. Johnny panicked but stopped himself from over reacting. No one would have any excuse to make him stop drinking. Except Patrick. And if Patrick caught him with that...

Eventually Johnny found himself surrounded by his drunk as hell teammates and thought that maybe being a little drunk for this sort of event would be good. He slowly raised the glass to his lips not really sure what was in it. But then, someone shoved Sharpy into him and the drink missed his mouth completely and went down his shirt. Blushing he looked up at the many faces around him and saw a very angry Patrick Kane face.  
“Tazer, can I talk to you for a second?” Patrick pushed through the crowd and stood in front of him.  
Everyone was chuckling and it seemed to him that everything was getting louder.  
Patrick all but yanked him out of the crowd and towards the bathroom.  
“Are you going to explain to me why you had a fucking drink in your hand?” Patrick said, careful to keep his voice down.  
“Someone put it there” Johnny said dully. His head was beyond sore now and the room was spinning.  
“Who gave you...” The words were barely out of Patrick’s mouth when Johnny collapsed, just managing to fall into Patrick.  
Patrick must have made some sort of sound because two teammates came rushing to find out what happened.  
"Well" Patrick thought "At least Johnny will get some sleep tonight." He doubted his own worried mind would settle down enough to receive the same pleasure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny's in the hospital and Patrick still doesn't sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the awesome comments. Also the people who helped me with spelling. I may put up one more update today but tomorrow I have to go to school for the morning so I won't put one up early.

Patrick was right. He spent half the night in an ambulance and waiting for one. The other half he spent trying to get a bit of rest in an uncomfortable hospital room chair. He spent the whole night however worried sick about his best friend, his boyfriend and heck he hadn’t mentioned it to Johnny yet but the man he loves.

Patrick was very glad Johnny was getting some rest, though it was unfortunate how it happened and he knew when Johnny woke up he’d be very upset. Patrick found himself hoping that it was the concussion that caused the collapse and it wasn’t something in that drink that Johnny had been holding. Patrick still wasn’t sure how much had made it into his mouth. 

Instead of sleeping Patrick decided to look out the window of Johnny’s room. Boston was just waking up. Somewhere down there was Zdeno Chara. Patrick decided that the next time he ran into Zdeno Chara he would make sure Zdeno knew just how much pain Johnny’s concussion had cause him. A while he was at it maybe Johnny Boychuk too. 

While Patrick was contemplating this, Johnny stirred across the room. He ran to Johnny’s bedside and watched as Johnny blinked a couple of times before throwing up into a bag beside his bed. Patrick didn’t know what to do. He searched the room frantically. The first thing that caught his eye was a large red button near Johnny’s bed. Patrick slammed his hand onto the button. Soon a doctor and was walking into the room.   
“Hello Mr. Kane” He said, looking first at Patrick and then at Johnny who looked like a sweaty mess.   
Patrick nodded his hello and stared at Johnny. He’d never felt so helpless. If Johnny had a problem on the ice, Patrick could help him. He could cover the mistakes. He could make the tears go away. Sure, some days Johnny was so far inside of his head that all Johnny could do was hold him and wait for him to get out. But an injury of this caliber, that wasn’t Patrick’s strength.   
The doctor and a nurse bustled around, swapping Johnny’s bag for a bowl. Johnny looked sick, Patrick could tell. But he also looked some what in his right mind. That meant there were two things Johnny could be thinking. 1 was just taking in his surroundings and evaluation how he was feeling, But Patrick knew that Johnny was smart which meant that he was likely on the 2nd option. That one was thinking about last night. That was a path Patrick didn’t want Johnny’s mind going down just yet.   
“Excuse me?” Patrick said politely. Damn that wasn’t normally him but he blamed it on his worry. “Could we maybe have some privacy?”  
What he wanted to say was “Get the fuck out so I can stop my boyfriend from losing his fucking mind.” The first option was probably better.   
“Of course sir” The doctor and nurse left quickly and Patrick sat on Johnny’s bed.   
“You must be really worried Patrick” Johnny said throwing in a small smile “I’ve never heard you speak so.. not sweary before.”  
“The things I do for my boyfriend” Patrick grinned.  
“D’you remember...”Patrick started but Johnny stopped him.  
“Everything except once I’d passed out”  
Patrick nodded not sure how to continue.   
“Well now everyone knows” Johnny said sighing.  
“No one was mad at you” Patrick reassured still not fully looking at Johnny. “They were just really worried.”  
“I didn’t want them to worry I-”   
Patrick cut him off “How could they not worry? Sharpie was so worried about you he was texting me all night”  
Johnny bit his lip   
“And” Patrick continued “Quenneville is going to be really mad. Not at you really. Just at the fact neither of us told him.”  
“Is he going to come here?”  
“As far as I’m concerned he’ll have to since you’re not leaving.”  
“You’re actually cleared to leave” Coach Q strode into the hospital room.   
Patrick stood up “But...”  
“Doctor told me just as I walked in.”  
“HE JUST COLLAPSED IN A BAR AND YOU’RE LETTING HIM LEAVE?!”   
Johnny’s eyes widened and so did Q’s.  
“Patrick, I’m going to talk to Johnny now. So you can either be here and be quiet or you can leave.”  
Patrick bit his lip and said “I’m going to stay here but I’ll be quiet. Sorta.”  
“Good” Q took off his coat, dropping it onto the windowsill and sat down on the chair by the bed.  
“Alright Jonathan. You’ve got some explaining to do”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick blames it all on himself. Sharpy's there to help out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized that I suck in spelling Sharpy so there's a couple times where it's spelled like the marker. I really wish he and Patrick Kane did not have the same name. Too hard to write them into the same scene. Anyway, I updated the tags and warnings because the language got a lot less clean and there's references of sexual content. I also think my characters are a bit OOC but I hope you are enjoying this.

Johnny explained everything as accurately as he could while Patrick sat there trying to keep his mouth shut. He succeeded for the majority of the time. It took a lot of self control though. It sucked because when he did speak he got a dirty look from one or both of the men in the room (and it wasn’t the dirty look Patrick wanted to receive from Johnny). When Johnny got to the part about keeping it a secret and received a scolding from Q, Patrick had to speak up.

“Yes we kept it a secret. You wanna know why? Because Tazer decided it would be best for the team. Let me ask you something Q, how would you have liked to announce that your star player has a concussion in the final game of the playoffs? You wouldn’t. Johnny did you a fucking favor and you should be fucking grateful!”

That’s how Patrick ended up sulking in the hallway. He hated hospitals, he hated Q and he hated himself. He felt stupid about not telling someone when he found out about the concussion, team’s happiness be damned. Maybe he could have gotten Johnny help earlier and they wouldn’t be sitting in a hospital room (or hallway) in Boston. Sure Johnny’s reasonings had been good for everyone else but it was time that Johnny started taking things for himself. Because sure the team was happy but they weren’t the ones suffering from it. It wasn’t as if Johnny had led him down the wrong path before and he always meant well but this was the last fucking straw.

Patrick heard footsteps approaching and pulled his knees to his chest, letting the person walk by in the cramped hallway. But the person stopped and took a seat on the floor by Patrick.

“I’ve never seen you so tense Kaner” The person said and the nickname got Johnny to look up. He saw the kind face of Patrick Sharp looking down at him. “

Hey” Patrick managed

“Just out of curiosity why is it that you aren’t in the room with him?” Even though the rest of the _team_ didn’t know about them or at least hadn’t been told, Sharpie had always known and Patrick trusted him more than anyone else besides Johnny.

“Quenneville fucking kicked me out”

Sharpy winced. “Must of done something really bad in there”

“I yelled at him and maybe swore a bit”

“Not as bad as the Madison thing was it?”

“Shut up Sharpy. You’re being a dick.”

Sharpy put his arms around Patrick’s frame gently.

“I’m not gonna sit here in the middle of a hallway in Boston and be embraced by you” Patrick said irritably but made no move to shove Sharpy away.

“I know you’re blaming yourself Patrick” Sharpy said after a while. “You’re almost as bad as Johnny”

“How could you tell?”

“I don’t have to ‘tell’. I’ve seen what you do. Even when you play an all star worthy game you down play it and say it’s our job for winning. Now instead of blaming the concusion on the fact that Chara and Boychuk both hit him illegally, on yourself.”

Patrick bit his lip and Sharpy continued “Honestly Patrick the only way you could have concussed Johnny is if you fucked him too hard into the headboard.”

Patrick choked on his own saliva and dissolved into a coughing fit while Sharpy grinned.

“I can assure you that he would have been the one fucking me into the headboard and not vice versa.”

Now it was Sharpy’s turn to choke. “Thanks for the image Kaner. I really appreciate it”

Patrick grinned and stood up. “Q’s had enough time talking up my boyfriend. Now it’s our turn.” Sharpy stood up and joined Patrick as they pushed into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the awesome reviews so far!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharpy and Patrick talk some sense into Tazer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reviews are awesome guys. Thank you so much. And I'm now on summer break so hopefully regular updates. Just out of curiosity though, if I wrote another fic along similar lines but focussing more on the Madison thing would you guys read it?

Sharpy led the way because Patrick wasn’t EVER going to admit it but he was a bit scared of what he was going to find. Q smiled when he saw Sharpy and so did Johnny. Patrick felt a pang of jealousy but brushed it off. Johnny was happy because Sharpy wasn’t mad at him. Q stood up and walked to Sharpy while Patrick hurried over to Johnny’s bed. Sharpy and Q exchanged words before Q walked over to where Patrick was sitting.   
“Watch your mouth, Kaner” He snapped and then left.   
“Fuck him” Patrick said, not really caring if Q heard or not.  
Johnny shook his head smiling. “You’re hopeless Kaner” He chuckled.   
“Hey!” Patrick protested and looked to Sharpy for support. That was a stupid idea. Sharpy can be a fucking traitor when he wants to be. Patrick crossed his arms and glared at them both.  
“I hope you weren’t mad” Johnny said to Sharpy.  
Sharpy raised his eyebrows and said “Mad? Because getting a concussion was totally your fault and you definitely did it to make us mad.”  
Johnny looked shocked.  
“See Tazer?” Patrick said squeezing Johnny’s leg through the sheet.   
Johnny nodded and hid his face in his hands. Sharpy gave him a look which was a cross between “Did I do something wrong?” and “He’s your boyfriend help him calm the fuck down!”  
Patrick was feeling helpless again. He moved closer to Johnny.   
“Hey” His voice was soft “Tazer.”  
Johnny mumbled something that sounded remarkably like “I’m so stupid.”  
Patrick looked first at Johnny and then at Sharpy and announced “I’m going to find us some food.” Because a) he was starving and b) if he stayed any longer he thought he might cry and c) because if Johnny was feeling bad about himself he didn’t need Patrick to be there. Well maybe he needed Patrick to be there but not to say something that made it worse and quite frankly Patrick doesn’t really have a good handle on his mouth at the moment. 

Patrick made it to the cafeteria in pretty good spirits. It all changed when he stood in line and waited for the jello he was getting for himself and Sharpy and the bran muffin he was getting for Johnny. The words Patrick said to him were bouncing around in his head. “Not as bad as the Madison thing was it?”  
Patrick really was not fond of that side of himself. Neither was Johnny. Neither was Sharpy or Duncs or Seebs. And especially not Q. The media however, was. They loved to see him make a fool of himself so they can bring it up every time they see him. They love to post trashy articles and pay people to talk trash about him. It makes Patrick sick. And quite frankly, he’s sick enough when he gets like that. The stuff that happened in Madison was itching at his brain non stop. But what was really worrying him is what they might do to Johnny if they found out he had another concussion.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharpy confronts Kaner about why he looks upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this one. I worked harder on ending all my dialogue with punctuation because apparently that's important. Anyway, this fic is not Beta'd and apparently that's really clear. But a) I don't have anyone who will read it and b) it should be the content not the spelling and stuff that's really important.

Patrick made it to the cafeteria in pretty good spirits. It all changed when he stood in line and waited for the jello he was getting for himself and Sharpy and the bran muffin he was getting for Johnny. The words Patrick said to him were bouncing around in his head. “Not as bad as the Madison thing was it?”  
Patrick really was not fond of that side of himself. Neither was Johnny. Neither was Sharpy or Duncs or Seebs. And especially not Q. The media however, was. They loved to see him make a fool of himself so they can bring it up every time they see him. They love to post trashy articles and pay people to talk trash about him. It makes Patrick sick. And quite frankly, he’s sick enough when he gets like that. The stuff that happened in Madison was itching at his brain non stop. But what was really worrying him is what they might do to Johnny if they found out he had another concussion. 

Patrick managed to get back to the room without breaking down. WHen he entered he saw Sharpy in deep conversation with a doctor and a nurse was checking Johnny’s vitals.   
“There he is,” Sharpy said, looking up and gesturing to Patrick.  
“You are the man who checked Mr. Toews into the hospital?” the doctor asked  
“Yes,” Patrick bit his lip  
“We would like to keep him here overnight to make sure he is stable. His blood-sugar levels are low so we will be monitoring that.”  
“That sounds fine,” Patrick said dully.  
The doctor and nurse left quickly after that.  
“Hey! You got food!” Sharpy cheered. Patrick handed him a Jello and then walked over to Johnny, handing him the other one, keeping the bran muffin for himself.  
“You hate bran...” Johnny said skeptically.  
“Yeah well I’m not the one with low blood sugar.”  
Patrick bit into the muffin. He could deal with bran. Sharpy gave him a weird look.   
“You feeling ok Kaner? Your eyes are red.”   
Shit. Shit. Shit.  
“I’m fine Sharpy,” He snapped and then sighed. “Sorry.”  
Johnny looked concerned and Sharpy walked over, gently placing a hand on Patrick’s shoulder.  
Johnny reached for the TV remote, flicking to ESPN. Patrick definitely didn’t want to watch that. Apparently it showed. Sharpy took both of Patrick’s shoulder and steered him out of the room, throwing a “be right back!” over his shoulder to Johnny.

Once they were in the hall Sharpy turned Patrick to face him and said, “Something’s going on in your head and it’s not good. For you or for Johnny. He’s worried sick about you and it’s not safe.”  
That was pretty much the last straw for Patrick who dissolved into tears. Sharpy pulled him into a hug, letting Patrick sob on his shoulder. This was not the Patrick he knew.

Once Patrick had calmed down enough to speak, Sharpy said, “What’s going on with you buddy? This isn’t like you.”  
Patrick picked his head up and looked at Sharpy, trying to stop the flow of tears.   
“Nothing feels right.” Patrick gasped for air “We won but I’m not happy.”  
“I can see that” Sharpy replied, adding a hint of sarcasm to see if he could get Kaner to laugh. It didn’t work.   
“If I drink, I don’t know what will happen.” Patrick confessed. “I’m scared for me, I’m scared for Johnny and I’m downright exhausted.”

Sharpy shut his eyes in concentration. If what Johnny had said was true, neither of them had slept after the game. And he knew that Patrick hadn’t slept last night since he was constantly giving updates. That meant, provided Patrick had slept before the final game, which wasn’t a guarantee, meant that he’d been up for two days straight.   
“What’s it gonna take for you to get some sleep tonight?” Sharpy asked Patrick, keeping his arms around him.  
“Maybe a more comfortable hospital chair?” Patrick tried to crack a smile, which lasted for a total of 2 seconds before crashing back into a frown.   
“I’m serious Kaner.”  
“I’m not leaving if that’s your plan.”  
“Then I’m staying too and we’re gonna get you a cot or something. Because you are gonna get sick.”  
Patrick hung his head.  
“I really appreciate you telling me that though, Kaner.”  
“It’s horrible. I can’t make it go away.”  
“I’m sure my earlier quip didn’t help either.” Sharpy said sighing.   
“You were trying to help. I knew that.”   
Sharpy rubbed Patrick’s back.  
“Once Johnny;s out, you and I are gonna go out ok? You can drink and you’ll see that you’re fine. Or at least I’ll stop you from doing anything bad.”  
Patrick looked skeptic but nodded a bit.  
“I promise.” Sharpy said, ruffling his hair.   
Patrick smiled for real this time. 100 points for Sharpy.  
“You go back,” Sharpy said “I’m going to get you that Jello you missed out on.” Sharpy headed off down the hall and Patrick watched him, keeping the smile on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaner and Tazer get some time alone in the hospital room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my awesome betas!!!! feathered_constellations and squeek93   
> Enjoy! And reviews are awesome. Thanks

Patrick flopped onto Johnny’s bed.  
“Turn off that ESPN crap.” Patrick said, reaching for the remote.  
Johnny batted his hand away, grinning, “I don’t know how you lived with this ‘crap’ all your life. “Hockey Night in Canada” is like, 10 times better.”  
Patrick rolled his eyes, “At least I was warm at night.”  
Johnny chucked.  
“You shouldn’t be watching TV anyway, Tazer.” Patrick succeeded in grabbing the remote this time and shut off the TV. Johnny sighed and rubbed his forehead. Patrick scooted further up the bed so he was level with Johnny’s head. He kissed his cheek, grinning a bit stupidly. Johnny smiled softly.  
“Did Sharpy get everything sorted out with you?” Johnny asked, concern in his voice.  
“Yup” Patrick said “All done” That was a lie, but he could pull it off for a bit longer.  
“Good” Johnny said  
“Uh-huh” Patrick agreed  
“Thanks for the Jell-O”  
“Bran is gross. How do you eat that?” Patrick asked, wrinkling his nose.  
Johnny shrugged, chuckling.  
“Are you staying tonight?” He asked his tone indefinable. Patrick was pretty sure it was half ‘please stay’ and half ‘if it’s inconvenient you don’t have to because I won’t force anyone to do anything because I’m super selfless’. (Ok maybe Patrick added a bit of that last part.)  
“I’m staying,” Patrick said strongly. “But Sharpy said I have to sleep.”  
Johnny smiled “He’s right.” He looked really happy that Patrick was staying.  
“I’m never leaving” Patrick blurted out. Sure it was sappy, but it was true. “Unless Q gets to trade me.”  
“He’s not going to trade his star winger just because said winger swore at him”  
“It’s not the only thing I’ve done wrong” Patrick said very quietly.  
“You said you didn’t want to talk about this. We decided that after it happened.”  
“I’m not. Changing subject now.” Patrick said, making little robot noises.  
Johnny laughed. This felt good. His head was pounding but Patrick was here and happy and making adorable noises. And that made everything well.

 

Sharpy returned a bit later carrying Jell-O and three sodas.  
“I really have to drink that?” Johnny asked, longing for his health shakes.  
“Doctors orders,” Sharpy winked at Patrick and handed Johnny the soda.

 

They all sat together joking and eating their food. Patrick was really enjoying this. A beer would be a great addition to this semi-party. But he could deal. Johnny made a face every time he swallowed a bit of the Coke. He was partially doing it because it tasted all fake-sweet but mostly to make Patrick laugh. It worked, and Patrick even fell of his chair in laughter.

 

Soon Johnny’s headache got too bad for him to stay awake. Sharpy excused himself, digging his phone from his pocket to talk to his daughter back home. Patrick stepped up to Johnny’s bed, fooling with the bed controls until he found one setting that Johnny liked.  
“We could have like totally kinky sex in one of these.” Patrick said, putting down the remote.  
Johnny blushed and shook his head. “Oh God, Kaner”  
Patrick smirked and pulled the covers up to Johnny’s chin.  
“Night Tazer” Patrick said, kissing Johnny’s mouth softly.  
“Night Kaner” Johnny said against Patrick’s lips.

 

When Sharpy came back, he made Patrick get ready for bed.  
“Johnny’s gonna be mad he missed this” Patrick said as he stepped out of his jeans and into the pajama pants Sharpy had brought him.  
“I’m sad I’m watching it” Sharpy said, averting his eyes.  
“Oh please, you love my ass” Patrick teased, walking over to Sharpy and half tripping on the long pant legs.  
“Yeah, nope. Married.” Sharpy held up his hand with the ring on it. “And straight”  
“I have something cool on my hand too” Patrick said, holding up his hand and flipping Sharpy off. “Oops,” he grinned.  
Sharpy sighed and shoved Patrick onto the cot.  
“Shouldn’t you sleep?” Patrick asked sitting up.  
“I can sleep in a chair,” Sharpy replied. “Experience from years of being a father.”  
Patrick rolled his eyes and lay back.  
“You’re gonna wake me right?” Patrick looked small and childlike sitting there. “If something bad happens?” His voice had lost the cocky edge from the minutes before .  
“Of course, Kaner” Sharpy reassured “But nothing’s going to happen”  
Patrick adjusted the blankets and rolled onto his side. It didn’t matter what Sharpy and Johnny said. He doubted he’d get much, if any, sleep tonight. It was gonna be a long night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny finally gets let out of the hospital. Patrick runs into a problem of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my betas :)

When Sharpy woke up the next morning, the first place he looked was the cot. It was empty. Then his eyes travelled to the bed where he saw that Patrick had slipped under the covers with Johnny and was currently fast asleep, his head on Johnny’s chest.  
Johnny caught Sharpy’s gaze and smiled giving a thumbs up. Sharpy winked at him and went out of the room to find something for them to eat.

 

Patrick slept right on through and Johnny couldn’t hide his grin. The Canadian loved to watch Patrick when he slept. His hair was matted to his head, and he was snuffling softly. Johnny tried to stay as still as possible, Patrick needed the sleep.

 

He did stir however, the smell of crappy hospital food awakening his senses.  
“Look who’s awake!” Johnny said, grinning down at Patrick.  
“Mmf” Patrick responded.  
“C’mon Kaner” Johnny ruffled his hair, getting it more or less back to its normal shape.  
Patrick just settled against Johnny again.  
Sharpy jerked his thumb towards the ground and Johnny smirked, putting his hands on the small of Patrick’s back.  
“Oh yeah Johnny. My back hurts, think you can rub it?” Patrick asked before Johnny shoved him hard off the bed and onto the cot.  
There was the thump of Kaner’s body hitting the cot and then a muffled but still easy to hear “What the fuck Johnny?”  
Sharpy and Tazer could barely contain their laughter but they did, if only to spare the rest of the hospital from Patrick’s word choice.

 

Once Patrick was back on the bed, with Johnny’s reassurance that he would not find himself on the floor again, they dug into the food that Sharpy had brought back. Patrick eyed the healthy smoothy thing ,that Sharpy had brought for Johnny, with disgust. He looked at his own meal which consisted of, an apple, a veggie bag and a doughnut. Keeping the doughnut, he handed his veggie bag to Johnny and tossed his apple up and down.  
“You do know that apple’s are for eating, right Kaner?” Johnny asked.  
“Shut up and eat your veggies you ass.” Patrick responded, biting into the doughnut and setting the apple on the bed beside them.

 

Once they’d finished their makeshift breakfast, Patrick helped Johnny get ready to leave. Sharpy went to look for the doctor so they could finally get out of this place. Johnny wasn’t very steady on his feet and it took an arm around his waist to keep him upright as they walked towards the elevator.  
Patrick led the way off of the elevator and out of the hospital. Well almost out. As they neared the exit, Patrick caught sight of the sea of people waiting outside. They certainly weren’t fans. Someone had tipped the media off that they were here.  
“Shit” Sharpy said from behind him.  
“Keep Johnny standing. Don’t let him pass out or we’ll be in a shitload of trouble.” Patrick commanded, stepping out towards the media.  
The crowd flooded forward when he left the doors.  
“Get out of here!” He said to the people.  
Instead of leaving they pressed forward, trying to get to Johnny. They started to yell at him.  
“Mr. Toews! Why are you here?”  
“Mr. Toews! Are you or are you not injured?”  
A few of them managed to get through the doors and were a few feet away from Johnny. Patrick doubled back and stepped in front of them.  
“Get out of here.” He said again.  
They pressed closer to Patrick and started to ask him questions.  
“Mr. Kane!” One of them said “Why are you here?”  
“What’s wrong with Jonathan?”  
“Patrick! How did you end up here?”  
Patrick ignored them but wouldn’t let them through. He yawned, rubbing his eyes.  
“Patrick! How nice to see you!”  
Shit, Patrick knew that voice. Again he ignored them walking backwards a bit to stand beside Johnny.  
Sharpy stepped up beside Patrick.  
“You know that guy?”  
“Yep” Patrick popped the ‘p’  
“Think he can help us?”  
“I think he could help ruin our lives. But not get us out of here.”  
Johnny was swaying on his feet now, head pounding from the flashing lights and the screaming.  
“Go upstairs” Patrick whispered to Sharpy. “Stay there and I’ll call you once I’ve sorted this out.”  
Sharpy led Johnny away towards the elevator and a few people ran after them. Patrick stuck his foot out in front of the first one who tripped and fell, the others following suit.  
“So, Patrick, what brings you to the hospital today? Let me guess, you were hungover? Someone choked you this time? Or is your little wrist hurting you again?” The reporter asked, smirking at him. It was the same guy who covered his earlier escapades in Madison.  
Patrick raised both hand and shoved him hard onto his ass.  
“Nope I’m pretty sure my wrist is fine.”  
The other reporters backed off a bit, some of them were leaving.  
“I know what it is,” The reporter said, “You’re still drunk.”  
Patrick rolled his eyes and said “Get out of here you assholes!”  
The Deadspin reporter closed in on him. “It’s ok, Patty. Everyone already knows what a bad boy you were this off-season. Why should you change?”  
“Leave now or I’m calling the cops.”  
“Where’s your ride?” The reporter asked smirking “Or are you planning on driving while intoxicated?”  
Patrick groaned, grabbing a fist full of the reporter’s shirt and hauling him upright “Do I smell drunk to you?” He breathed into the reporters face.  
The guy took a swing at Patrick and hit his cheekbone just below his eye. Patrick dropped the guy hard, wincing in pain.  
The guy at the check in desk near the commotion called the cops and soon the sirens could be heard clear across the room.  
The reporters scattered but Patrick kept one hand on the Deadspin reporter’s chest, making sure he was still there for the cops.

 

A policeman took the reporter towards a patrol car for questioning and another stayed with Patrick. The blonde dug out his phone and sent a quick text to Sharpy telling him it was safe. He sat down on a chair in the waiting room and accepted the icepack from a nearby nurse.  
The policeman sat down beside him. “Mr. Kane I’m going to need to ask you a few questions.”  
“Please no questions right now.” Patrick pleaded. “I’ll probably cry all over you and wouldn’t that be bad for my image.”  
The elevator door opened and both Sharpy and Johnny came running out. Johnny looked more stable now but Patrick wasn’t sure it was good for him to be running.  
They reached his side quickly, Johnny sitting down in the chair beside him and Sharpy hovering just slightly off to the side. The policeman moved away a little bit to give them some space.  
“What happened?” Johnny asked, putting a hand on Kaner’s shoulder.  
“Stupid Deadspin reporter.”  
“What did he do?” Sharpy questioned, walking closer.  
“Talked shit about me and then punched me in the face.” Patrick tried to hide the pain in his voice. The black eye he had didn’t hurt. But somewhere else did.  
Johnny stood up. “I’m gonna go give that guy a piece of my mind.”  
“I wouldn’t recommend that.” Sharpy said, gesturing to the cop.  
“Let’s just go.” Patrick huffed. “I’ll go talk to the cop. Can you bring the car around?”  
“Sure” Sharpy said, walking towards the parking lot.  
Patrick wandered over to the cop. “There’s not much you need to know from me.” He said, pointing at the security cameras. “I had him right in the camera’s view the whole time.”  
The policeman nodded. “Thank you sir. We’ll be in contact with you.”  
Patrick walked away, hanging his head. He didn’t feel like talking about that with anyone other than Sharpy and Johnny. The policeman wasn’t going to get to see him cry. And neither was the stupid Deadspin reporter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the Deadspin reporter being nameless.   
> Reviews are awesome thanks guys.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny and Sharpy make Patrick talk. About feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think this chapter is going to be the last one even though it wraps a lot of stuff up. I want to continue this farther. Reviews are awesome. Thanks :)

The ride to Johnny’s was silent. Sharpy would try and initiate a conversation, but it was only between him and Johnny. Patrick was in no mood to say more than two words to anyone.

 

When they pulled up at the condo thankfully, there was no media in sight. Sharpy got out to help Johnny out and left Patrick to fend for himself. Still holding the ice pack, Patrick followed them up the walkway and waved at the doorman as they walked past.

 

When they reached the apartment, Johnny fumbled with the key. Sharpy took the key from him and let them in. Patrick waved a hand in front of Johnny.  
“How’s your vision?” Kaner asked.  
“Fine. My head just hurts when I focus hard.” They walked in side by side.  
“You need to talk to me, Kaner.” Johnny said as they headed for the living room. “Something’s wrong.”  
“Is it that obvious?” Patrick huffed, sitting down on the couch.  
“Yes,” Sharpy said, handing Patrick a beer. “Very obvious.”  
Johnny sat down on the couch beside Patrick, taking his hand.  
“You didn’t talk the entire way home. You’re pale and you’re shaking a bit.” The Canadian explained.  
“I’m being stupid” Patrick said dully “I’m losing my touch.”  
“Being open to feelings isn’t a bad thing.” Sharpy said, sounding remarkably like a shrink.  
Johnny rubbed his thumb over the back of Patrick’s hand. “Please tell us what’s bugging you.”  
Patrick sighed “The Deadspin reporter just said some things. It’s really nothing.”  
“C’mon, Kaner, we don’t have all day.” Sharpy said, sitting on his other side.  
“He started listing things I’ve done before that might have stuck me in the hospital.”  
“Like?” Johnny pressed.  
“Like, someone choked me this time. Or I was hungover. Or is your little wrist hurting you again?” Patrick mimicked the reporter.  
“Is it hurting you?” Johnny asked.  
“No Johnny, it’s not.” Patrick stood up. “We weren’t there for me. We were there for you because you have a concussion. God, if I had a concussion, everyone would like, respect me. They’d say I took one for the team. But no, I hurt my wrist, and it doesn’t really matter. Oh, Kaner’s out for a bit of the season. No, Johnny, it wouldn’t matter if my wrist hurt because no one fucking cares.”  
Johnny looked shell shocked, but Sharpy simply said “You done?”  
Patrick sat back down, hiding his face in his hands.  
“Is that all?” Sharpy asked him, touching his shoulder gently.  
Patrick shook his head.  
“You need to tell us, or we’ll get your mom down here and have her pry it out of you.” Sharpy stated.  
“Can you give us a sec, Sharpy?” Johnny whispered. Sharpy moved out of the room, going to find the phone that had started ringing.  
“Pat,” Johnny said softly. “I know you aren’t very good with feelings. But you need to tell me what he said. Please.”  
Patrick looked up, his eyes shining with tears. “H-he, he s-said.” But he couldn’t get the words out.  
Johnny pulled him into his arms, holding Patrick to his chest. “What did he say?”  
“He said, everyone already knows what a bad guy I am. Why would I bother to make it right?”  
Johnny sighed. “You are not a bad guy, Pat. You made one mistake.”  
“No.” Patrick said “The Madison thing isn’t my only problem. I’m so messed up.”  
“No.” Johnny said, voice rising. “There is nothing wrong with you, Patrick. Don’t you dare try to prove me wrong. I’ve known you the entire time you’ve been in this league. You’re the most valuable player on our team. Most valuable player in the playoffs. Hell Patrick, just because you’ve made a few mistakes over the last year doesn’t mean people don’t like you or look up to you. And it certainly doesn’t stop me from loving you.”  
Patrick was silent for a long time, eyes closed. But just when Johnny was starting to think he’d done something wrong, Patrick said very, very quietly. “I love you too, Tazer.”

 

“I think you’re going to have to call him back, Mrs. Toews. He’s a little busy right now.” Sharpy said into the phone, standing in the doorway of the living room. He watched the lovers smile at each other.  
“Thank you, Patrick.” Mrs. Toews said, hanging up the phone.  
Sharpy smiled softly and then turned to go into to the kitchen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncs and Seebs take Patrick out to the bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm so sorry this is late. My mind went blank but thanks to my wonderful betas, I'm back on top.  
> I hope you enjoy this one! Reviews are awesome.

Patrick was beginning to feel very glad he did not have a concussion. Johnny’d barely moved since they got home from the hospital. Their teammates called to invite Patrick out to bars or to their houses or even to train but Patrick turned all of them down. Johnny was more important than team bonding and definitely more important than training. The only person Patrick allowed into Johnny’s house for more than a check in was Sharpy. Patrick had practically moved into Johnny’s house which was nice but it also meant that he was with Johnny 24/7. In most cases, an excuse to hang out with Johnny all day every day (which Patrick would tell himself he didn’t need because they were boyfriends) was welcome, but in this case it was a lot of work and a lot of stress for Patrick. So Sharpy ended up spending more time than usual with Patrick and Johnny. It was nice for Patrick because he had an extra hand to help out around the house and some company for when Johnny was sleeping.

  
  


The hardest part of Patrick’s job was Johnny.  
Although Johnny was a polite Canadian-raised boy, he was also selfless and Patrick found that extremely frustrating. Johnny knew that the only way he could recover in time for training camp would be to just rest and get better.  However, Johnny would also try to push himself to get better faster, something that Patrick found really frustrating. Sometimes Patrick wouldn’t get any sleep at night because he was worried Johnny would try and find some way out of the condo and to the gym downstairs or even outside. Sure, they went for walks, but Johnny couldn’t go anywhere by himself because Patrick was too terrified that something would happen to him.

  
  


Sharpy hated the bags under Patrick’s eyes more than he hated how Johnny stumbled every time he stood up. Patrick was working way too hard on not enough sleep. Patrick was very good at protecting Johnny but Sharpy just wished there was a way Patrick could be helping himself too.

About 3 weeks into Johnny’s concussion, Duncs and Seebs called Sharpy to find out if he could come to the bar with them. Sharpy was about to decline when he had an idea.

“Would you take Peeks with you?” He asked.

“If he’s willing to come, of course we could.”

“Done. He’ll meet you at the bar at 9.”

  
  


So, at 9pm sharp, Patrick was standing in a busy bar, in a pair of jeans and one of Johnny’s western looking shirts.  
Duncs and Seebs hadn’t arrived yet and he was itching with nerves. Most were  
about Johnny. He knew Sharpy was there and was doing a good job of taking care  
of Johnny but Patrick was worried. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he wasn’t worried about Johnny.

The other part of his nerves were about being at a bar again. It wasn’t his first since Madison but it was his first since Johnny fainted and also since his talk with Sharpy. He trusted Duncs and Seebs almost more than anyone on the team. He knew they would not get him extremely drunk for their own entertainment. And if they did, they’d certainly save him before he went too far. The only problem was how far was too far? How much alcohol could he drink safely? How much would take his mind off his worries but not make him lose his mind? He decided he’d better order a Pepsi for the time being.

“Peeks!” Duncan called over the rumble of the people in the bar.

Patrick turned around and both Duncs and Seebs hugged him.

“Uh.” Patrick said intelligently.

“We’re here for you ok?” Brent said.

Patrick was really confused.

“Sharpy filled us in on your whole drinking dilemma.” Duncan supplied.

“Oh.” Patrick said, his mind working frantically to figure out if this was good or bad.

“So we’re going to help you.” Brent added “Drink until you can take your mind off of Johnny and we’ll make sure nothing bad happens.”

Patrick nodded “Thank you.”

“Anytime Peeks.” Duncs said “Now lets get you something good to drink.”

Patrick tried really hard to let his worries go. He knew he could trust Duncs and Seebs. But he couldn’t bring himself to drink more than two beers before he was back to ordering a soda.

Duncan sighed. “I’ll call you a cab if you want to go home.”

“I can drive. I only had two beers.”  
Patrick replied, fishing his keys out of his pocket.

Duncs handed him a glass of water and took the keys.

“Stay until you finish that.” He said, sipping his (4th?) beer.

“Do you sleep Peeks?” Seebs asked, arm around Duncs shoulder.

“Yeah” Patrick nodded.

“How often?”

Patrick bit his lip and looked at the floor.

“Well?” Duncs pressed.

“I get enough sleep ok?” Patrick said scowling.

“No you don’t.” A hand fell on Patrick’s shoulder. Patrick spun around to see Sharpy standing behind him.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?”  
Patrick screamed.

The people around them fell silent and stared. Patrick blushed, hiding his face.

“I came to see my friends and to make sure you were relaxing.”

“He’s not relaxing.” Duncs said.

Patrick was freaking out, heart thumping hard.

“Who’s with Johnny?” Brent asked, saying the words Patrick was trying to get out.

“His mom flew in this evening.” Sharpy replied, rubbing a hand soothingly across Patrick’s back.

Patrick’s heart slowed its pace substantially. Sharpy pulled up a chair to their table and sat down beside Patrick.

Sharpy handed Patrick another beer which Patrick sipped at but was reluctant to drink the entire bottle.

“It’s ok Kaner. I’m here.”

“I don’t want it.” Patrick said, pushing it away yawning.

“Give me a few more minutes. Then I’ll drive you home.”

“I can drive.”

“No.” Sharpy said firmly.

“I’ll drive your car home.” Brent offered.  
“Duncs and I took a cab here anyway. And I’ve had way less to drink than our friend over here.” He gestured to Duncs before grabbing Patrick’s abandoned water.

“You know water doesn’t make you completely sober right?” Sharpy asked, watching as Patrick’s head fell onto his shoulder and he cozied up against Sharpy.

“Yes.” Brent said “Where did you come across this information?”

Sharpy was not about to admit that he’d been doing a ton of research about alcohol consumption and ways to stop addiction since he’d talked to Patrick about his incident.

“I heard it on the radio or something.” He said instead.

His arm slid around Patrick’s waist to hold him still. He looked exhausted. Johnny’s mom had insisted she wanted to help in some way but it was Sharpy’s idea to fly her in. Patrick desperately needed a break from helping Johnny. And even if Sharpy couldn’t make Patrick stop helping, he could let him relax for a couple of weeks. Otherwise Patrick was going to work his body too hard and it wouldn’t be good for him or Johnny.

Sharpy chatted idly with his friends while Patrick dozed on his shoulder.

Soon Brent and Duncs were both yawning.

“Peeks.” Sharpy whispered into Patrick’s ear. “Time to get up.”

Patrick sat up groggily and shivered.  
Sharpy shrugged off his coat, wrapping it around Patrick and standing up.  
Patrick was too sleepy to make some remark to Seebs about taking care of his car and just followed Sharpy towards the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I have now ended up with 3 stories with multiple chapters and multiple characters and I'm going away for about 3 weeks, my updates will be less frequent. However, I'll try to update things when I can, not sure how often that will happen. Thank you.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my awesome Beta's! Enjoy! And reviews are awesome :)

Sharpy parked the car outside Johnny’s condo and insisted that he needed to walk Patrick upstairs. Patrick was yawning bigger now and he still had Sharpy’s coat draped over his shoulders.

He opened the door and walked towards the living room. Sharpy went into the kitchen, looking for Mrs. Toews.

Patrick knelt in front of where Johnny was lying on the couch.

“Did you have fun?” Johnny asked quietly.

Patrick reached a hand up to touch Johnny’s hand. “Sort of.”

“It’s good that you got out though Pat.”

“So, did I get replaced? I’m sure your mother is better at this than I am.”

“No. You’re still my favorite.” Johnny smiled slightly.

Patrick beamed and then yawned.

“Go get some rest.” Johnny said with a small chuckle.

“I don’t wanna.” Patrick whined.

“Go Pat. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“But...”

“Goodnight Pat. I love you.”

That shut Patrick up momentarily and he got to his feet.

“I love you Johnny. Feel better.” Patrick said walking into the kitchen.

Sharpy was standing beside Mrs. Toews, chatting idly with her and running a wash cloth across the parts of the counter he could reach.

Patrick stopped in the doorway not wanting to interrupt their conversation. Sharpy beckoned him in, chucking the washcloth into the sink and wrapping an arm around him.

“Thank you so much Patrick. It’s so nice to know that Johnny’s in good hands.” Mrs. Toews told Kaner.

“You’re welcome.” Patrick replied, blushing softly.

“And Pat,” She said turning to Sharpy. “Please make sure Kaner takes a break. He needs it.”

“Absolutely.” Sharpy said with a smile.

“Are you leaving already?” Patrick asked.

“No of course not. I couldn’t have Pat fly me out here for one night. There’s a hotel I’m staying at down the road.” Mrs. Toews told Kaner.

Sharpy looked anywhere but Patrick’s eyes and Patrick said “Well I appreciate you being here.”

“Anytime.” She said, ruffling Kaner’s hair as she walked by. “See you tomorrow boys.”

“We need to talk.” Patrick muttered to Sharpy as they took Mrs. Toews downstairs to her car.

“You need to sleep.” Sharpy pointed out.

“I can deal until we talk.”

They dropped her off and on their way back to the elevator Sharpy began to talk.

“I flew her in because I knew you needed a break and that you’d spend all night worrying about Johnny, even when I was taking care of him. I figured you’d be more comfortable if it was his mother.”

Patrick nodded “You didn’t need to fly her all the way from Winnipeg though. That’s expensive.”

“Money isn’t exactly an issue for me Patrick.” Sharpy said, pressing the button for the elevator.

“I know but...”

“You’re feeling guilty because you didn’t have a good time tonight and I spent the money to bring Johhny’s mom down here so that you could have some fun.” Sharpy guessed, stepping into the elevator.  

“Get out of my head.” Patrick said.

“So I’m right.”

“Not helping.”

They stepped off the elevator and into the hallway. Sharpy pressed Patrick up against the wall so he had no room to escape.

“My point is, having Mrs. Toews here will be good for you. Even though you didn’t have fun with the boys tonight, we’re going to try to help. We need to make sure you’re not being Johnny’s full time care person. It’s not good for you.”

“I don’t see why any of you care that much.” Patrick said simply.

Sharpy sighed and loosened his grip on Patrick’s arm,“Patrick...”

“No seriously.” Patrick continued, ‘There’s absolutely no reason for you to be worried so much about me Sharpy. You’ve got your whole summer ahead of you. You could be in Thunder Bay by now.”

“First, the flight I’d originally booked to go home doesn’t leave until next week. But I changed the flight because my family agreed that I should be here with you and Johnny instead of there with them. I’ll fly out once Johnny’s doing a bit better. And secondly, you mean more to me than you could ever know Pat. You’re like my brother. And families stick together. So, stop telling me that I can’t look after you and go inside to bed.”

Patrick was stunned but he let Sharpy manhandle him inside and towards the bedroom. Johnny was asleep on the couch when they walked by and Patrick gave a silent thank you to whoever was listening up there.

Sharpy pulled Patrick close. “And I mean that bud.” He kissed Pat’s forehead and left him to get ready.

Patrick got ready for bed slowly. Mrs. Toews had been wrong. Sharpy had been the one caring for Johnny, not Patrick. After all, it was Sharpy’s idea to fly in Johnny’s mom. It’d been his idea to go out to the bar. He’d done all the work. Patrick fell asleep with the feeling of tears prickling his eyes.

Sharpy sat on his own bed, thinking. How could Patrick not believe he was worth it? Sure, he’d gotten in trouble before and the media thought he was a douche but they didn’t _know_ Patrick. Sharpy’d known Patrick since he first set foot on the ice in Chicago. He’d seen him mature as a player. He’d seen him fall in love with Johnny and he’d seen Johnny fall in love with Patrick. He’d seen Patrick at his worst, and at his best. He’d sat up with Patrick on nights that he was too hard on himself to relax. He’d seen Patrick score the Stanley Cup winning goal.  He’d seen Patrick take it upon himself to mature after his Madison incident.  He knew almost everything there was to know about Patrick. And he was positive that Patrick was as far from a douche as you could get (besides Johnny and Sharpy himself.)

Mrs. Toews’s comment had been true. Patrick was the main reason Johnny was on the mend. He’d spent nights up with Johnny and nights up by himself with worry. He’d brought Johnny Gatorade and took him for walks when he could. He’d made sure Johnny didn’t do a single thing that was against doctor's orders. And he was right by Johnny’s side for every up-chuck, every laugh, every cry and every migraine. Patrick was a hero in Sharpy’s mind. Now Sharpy just had to make Patrick seem like one in his own mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to talk to you.” Johnny said.
> 
> “I don’t.” Patrick snapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long :( Comments are awesome. Please enjoy.

Patrick tried to sleep for a few hours that night, he really did. But after lying in bed alone with his thoughts for 2 full hours, he wandered into the kitchen. The clock read 2:30 am. He began to make his way across the living room.

“You should be asleep.” A voice said.

Patrick jumped and turned to see that the voice had come from Johnny.

“So should you.” Patrick told him.

Johnny patted the edge of the couch and moved over to let Patrick sit.

“You’re the one who has alcohol in his system.” Johnny joked.

“I didn’t drink anything.” Patrick said, looking down.

“Really?” Johnny asked.

“Really.” Patrick confirmed . The little beer he had earlier was churning in his stomach.

“Are you feeling ok?” Johnny questioned.

“I’m not feeling sick.” That was mostly true.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Johnny...” Patrick sighed.

“Patrick.”

“Get some sleep.” Patrick instructed, going to stand up.

Johnny’s fast reflexes hadn’t suffered drastically from his concussion. His hand grabbed the corner of Patrick’s pajama shirt.

“I want to talk to you.” Johnny said.

“I don’t.” Patrick snapped.

The pain those words caused Johnny was evident in his eyes. Johnny’s hand loosened his hold on Patrick’s shirt and Patrick stood up immediately.

“Pat. Please.” Johnny pleaded.

“No.” Because you’ll think I’m stupid. You’ll think I’m weak and needy.

Johnny tried to say something else but a wave of nausea crashed over him and he kept his mouth closed. Patrick sighed and tried to hold back the tears from falling.

“Sleep well, Johnny.” Patrick said softly and turned to walk back to his room.

 

Sharpy woke up when he heard a crash in the kitchen. He walked into the kitchen, dressed in just the pants he’d slept in. Patrick was standing at the stove trying to find something in the cupboards above the store.

“What are you doing?” Sharpy asked.

“Where do you keep the pans?” Patrick demanded.

“Why don’t you ask Johnny? It’s his house.”

“Why don’t you put some clothes on?” Patrick snapped.

“Okay, then” Sharpy chided.

“Fine then. Don’t help me.” Patrick continued, shuffling towards the other end of the kitchen.

“Did you even sleep?” Sharpy questioned.

“Uh, yeah. I totally did.” Patrick lied, opening and shutting cupboards loudly.

“My god, Patrick.” Sharpy said exasperatedly. “Will you just sit down?”

Patrick glared at him but sat down at the breakfast bar.

Sharpy opened the cupboard above the sink and pulled out a pan.

“Oh, there they are.” Patrick said absent-mindedly.

Sharpy ignored him and pulled out the necessary ingredients to make Patrick something to eat. Patrick sat there flicking through the newspaper Sharpy had brought in.

“Voila.” Sharpy said, sliding an omelet in front of Patrick. “Eat that and then we can talk.

He then went into the living room to see Johnny. Johnny was lying on the couch, deep in thought.

“Hi.” He said nonchalantly.  

“Do you want an omelet?” Sharpy asked.

“I’m not exactly hungry.” Johnny told him.

“C’mon, Cap.” Sharpy insisted. “I already made one for Pat.”

“Then definitely not.” Johnny huffed.

“What’s going on between you two?” Sharpy questioned, putting a hand on Johnny’s shoulder.

“Nothing.” Johnny muttered, shrugging Sharpy’s arm off his shoulder.

He was met with the same response when he asked Patrick a few minutes later.

“Please, peeks?” Sharpy asked. “You look sad.”

“I’m going shopping today.” Patrick informed him, ignoring his question once again.

“I see” Sharpy said, pulling Patrick’s half finished omelet out of reach of his stabbing fork.

“Do you want to join me?” Patrick asked him.

“Maybe you should take Johnny. He should get out a bit.”

“How ‘bout no?” Patrick said, “Are you coming?”

“Sure.” Sharpy said with a sigh. “I’ll call Andreé.”

Patrick jabbed his fork onto the table. The fact that his plate was gone didn’t seem to faze him.

“Ok, let’s not.” Sharpy said, taking the fork. Patrick just sighed dramatically.

“C’mon.” Sharpy insisted, taking Patrick’s plate and placing it in the sink. He walked back to Patrick and made him stand up.

“Go grab some clothes.” Sharpy told him.

“You’re the one with no shirt.” Patrick pointed out which earned him a shove from Sharpy.

 

After waiting for half an hour for Patrick to come out of the bedroom, Sharpy figured something was wrong. He pushed open the bedroom door and found Patrick sound asleep on the bed. Sharpy smiled and then left Patrick to his sleep.

“I’m going to the movies.” Sharpy informed Johnny.

“I thought you and Kaner were going shopping.”

“We were going to but fell asleep.” Sharpy pulled on his light jacket. “Your mom’s going to be here soon.”

“Well, have fun.” Johnny sighed.

“Maybe tomorrow we can all go.” Sharpy recommended, opening the door.

“I doubt it” Johnny said, but Sharpy was already out the door.

 

Patrick woke up about three hours after Sharpy had returned home. He yawned and picked up his phone, walking out into the living room. He walked straight past Johnny, ignoring his greeting and walking into the kitchen.

“Hey Peeks.” Sharpy said, looking up from his book.

“Hey.”

“You fell asleep.”

“Yup.” Patrick said, sliding into the seat across from Sharpy.

“I went to a movie.” Sharpy told him.

“Did Mrs. Toews come over?”

Sharpy nodded “Can you grab me my phone from the coffee table in the living room?”

“Uh.” Patrick said, knowing full well he’d have to walk deliberately beside Johnny.

“Please?”

“Fine.” Patrick grumbled. He stood up and walked into the living room.

Johnny watched as Patrick came into the living room.  

“Hey Pat.” Johnny said.

Patrick ignored him again, leaning down beside Johnny to pick up Sharpy’s phone. Johnny grabbed the bottom of Patrick’s shirt so that Pat wouldn’t be able to move. Patrick pulled away from Johnny and yanked his shirt away hard. Johnny tumbled off the couch.

“Pat!” He yelled.

Patrick stopped, not facing Johnny.

“You need to talk to me.” Johnny added.

“I don’t need to do anything.” Patrick responded, trying to keep his voice level.

“Please. I want to know what’s going on.”

“No. You don’t.” Patrick said. There were tears rushing down his face now, but he wouldn’t let Johnny see.

“Pat please.” Johnny was on his feet now, vision blurring around the edges, but he didn’t care. HIs focus was on Patrick.

Johnny staggered forward, his hand landing heavily on Patrick’s shoulder, turning him somewhat to face him.

Patrick’s eyes were red. He sniffled and stared at Johnny.

“Sit down.” Patrick said softly.

“No.” Johnny answered and willed his headache away. It didn’t make much of a difference.

“Sit down.” Patrick said again.

“No,” Johnny repeated, crossing his arms. His legs felt like jelly and the world wasn’t quite staying still but he could do this.

Two hands clamped down on his shoulders, forcing him onto the couch. Sharpy was standing behind where Johnny had been, eyes blazing. Patrick shivered. Sharpy took a deep breath.

“Whatever is going on between you two needs to stop.” He said, taking in Patrick’s red face and Johnny’s heaving breaths.

“Nothing’s going on.” Patrick said, rubbing his eyes.

Sharpy scoffed. “Patrick. Go clean up while I make sure Johnny is ok.”

Patrick blushed softly but did as he was told. Sharpy sat down beside Johnny .

“That was really stupid.” Sharpy said bluntly.

“I know.” Johnny muttered, staring at the ground.

“I know what your goal was.” Sharpy sympathized putting a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “But Patrick’s a little...” He trailed off.

“A little what?”

Sharpy searched for the right word. “Scared.” He said finally. “He’s scared because he feels like he’s hurting you when he tells you things.He’s scared because he doesn’t want to get too drunk like in Madison. He doesn’t want you to think he’s weak.”

“Why couldn’t he tell me himself?”

“This is Kaner we’re talking about. He doesn’t know that what he thinks in his head is not necessarily what happens outside. He’s always considered weak. He doesn’t want you to feel that way about him too.” Sharpy explained, standing up.

Johnny was quiet for a long time. He finally said “Go make sure he’s ok. Please, Sharpy.”

“Thats where I’m headed.”

Sharpy pulled a blanket over Johnny and then went looking for Patrick. He heard movement in the kitchen.

Patrick was sitting at the counter, head in his hands, body shaking.

“Peeks.” Sharpy said softly, walking closer.

“Yeah?” Patrick sniffled.

Sharpy sat down beside him. “Can you look at me?”

Patrick lifted his head.

“Good.” Sharpy praised, smiling reassuringly.

Patrick was crying hard though. Every time he opened his mouth, he’d only get fractions of words out. Sharpy just sat with him and waited.

Once Patrick was calmed down enough, he said softly. “I hurt Johnny.”

“Only figuratively.” Sharpy said, pulling Patrick close. “He’s just worried about you.”

“He shouldn’t be.”

“He should actually.” Sharpy said earnestly. “You don’t talk to him.”

“I don’t think he needs to know how weak I am.”

“He does!” Sharpy exclaimed, “Well not the weak part because you’re not weak Patrick. But he needs to know what’s going on with you. He’s blaming himself.”

“Fine.” Patrick huffed. “But if he decides to break up with me when I tell him, it’s on you.”

Sharpy smiled softly. “You got it Peeks.”

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe being loved wasn’t such a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and Review :) Thanks.

Patrick steeled himself and pushed open the door to the living room. He had to make sure that he made up with Johnny. But he couldn’t afford to go overboard. It would be dangerous to let himself fall deep into memories. Patrick willed his legs to walk forward.

Johnny was sprawled out on the couch, a book in one hand, his other tapping his leg gently. If he heard Patrick walk in, he made no motion to show it.

“I was thinking,” Patrick started, walking closer to Johnny. “That I’d take you out for dinner to apologize but I figured, I’d rather have a major breakdown at home, than in the public. Imagine the headlines.”

Patrick did one of those flashback head turn things he sometimes saw in movies and said, "'Hawks star- What’s his next failure? Or how ‘bout: 'Patrick Kane now more broken than ever.'”

“Stop.” Johnny interrupted, putting down his book.

“Well now that you’ve acknowledged that I’m here, the criticism can start.”

“Pat...”

“I’m ready Jonathan. Just say everything you hate about me.” Ok maybe calling him Jonathan had been a bit too far, but Patrick wasn’t feeling very in control at the moment.

“I love you.” Johnny mumbled, “And I need to hear why you’re so upset.”

 _Oh._ “Uh, right.”

Johnny scooted over on the couch and motioned for Patrick to sit. Patrick figured he should probably sit, if only to avoid collapsing on the floor so he walked towards the couch. As he took the seat on the couch, Johnny’s hand grabbed his own gently.

“And I want the truth.”

Patrick nodded. “What did Sharpy tell you?”

“He said you were scared.”

“Pshhhh. I’m not scared.” Patrick rolled his eyes but his voice caught, giving away just how fake that line had been.

“Let’s start with that.” Johnny decided. “Why were you sc- I mean anxious about talking to me?”

Patrick pretended that he had to think about that for a second and used that extra time to compose himself and insure he wouldn’t break into tears.

“It’s because I,” Patrick took a deep breath. “Because I was worried that you’d think I’m a chore or something and want to leave. And every time I tried to fathom waking up and not seeing you, I felt like doing something irrational, like crying or something like that.”

“I promise,” Johnny said, squeezing Patrick’s hand, “That I will never leave you, unless it’s what you want. And I want to hear everything you have to say right now and forever.”

This was undoubtedly the sappiest conversation Patrick had ever had in his life but he was enjoying it. Maybe being loved wasn’t such a bad thing.

“It would take forever to explain every story. So, you ask me questions and I answer them. That way I know exactly what you want to know.”

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I am. Most nights.”

Johnny sighed, “And on the nights that you don’t?”

“There’s too much on my mind I guess. And it’s weird to sleep alone now.”

“As soon as I know that I won’t wake you up with my frequent headaches or restless sleeps, I’ll join you.” Johnny assured him.

Patrick nodded, relaxing somewhat against Johnny’s side.

“Why didn’t you have fun the other night with Seabs, Duncs and Sharpy?”

“Two reasons. The first is easy, I was preoccupied with making sure you were ok and torn between leaving you alone and having fun with my friends.”

Johnny nodded, looking a bit guilty.

“But it’s not your fault. I just got a bit carried away with my own visions of what could happen to you if I wasn’t there.”

“What’s the second reason?”

“That one is a bit more complicated.” Patrick stated and then closed his mouth.

The Canadian motioned for him to continue.

“You know what happened in Madison.” Patrick stalled, because honestly, who doesn’t know about Madison?

Johnny nodded.

“Since I don’t know exactly how much alcohol I had that weekend, I don’t know how much it will take to get me back there again. And contrary to popular belief, I don’t like that when I Google my name, all that comes up are stupid Deadspin headlines or shirtless pictures of me. I don’t want to be the guy with the drinking problem. I don’t want to be the douche who strangled a girl. I don’t want anything like that weekend to happen ever again.” He took a breath, “And I’m scared that even having a little bit of alcohol will make me do something stupid that I regret but can’t take back.”

Patrick felt Johnny pull him backwards against his chest but he was a bit distracted. Something felt lighter. He needed to say that to somebody. Even his conversations with Sharpy hadn’t made him feel this good.

“Thank you.” Johnny said softly into his ear, “That’s a lot to hold in Patrick.”

Patrick didn’t reply. He basked in the silence around him. Johnny just let him lie there, brushing a hand through his hair.

“Next question.” Pat requested eventually.

“Why have you been scared to talk to me? Besides your last reason.”

“Before we started dating, every second word out your mouth was criticism. Not so much in the beginning but it progressed until the point where I didn’t want to tell you anything because I was so afraid that you’d hate me. I was already head over heels for you and hearing you say those things about me broke my heart.

“Once we got our heads out our asses and started going out, you started to say really good things about me, but I couldn’t accept them because I didn’t know when they’d turn to insults, and it’s hard to accept compliments when you’ve had people tearing you down your whole life.

“I guess yesterday I forgot all of the good moments and only remembered the bad. That’s my fault not yours.”

Johnny turned his face to meet Patrick's lips softly.

“I love everything about you.” He promised against Patrick’s lips.

Patrick looked away. “There has to be something you don’t like.”

“I don’t like that you have almost no confidence in yourself. I don’t like that you wouldn’t talk to me. But I still love you.”

Patrick smiled softly. “Maybe I have more to work on than I thought.”

Johnny shook his head, “You just have to accept yourself. That’s all.”

He kissed Patrick again and stroked his hair slowly.

“Any last questions?” Patrick asked, burrowing his face into Johnny’s chest.

“When are you taking me out for dinner?”

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @88PKane Maybe you should just stay away from Johnny. Doesn’t look like you’re helping much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long. I'm lousy at updating these things. Sigh. Anyway, please enjoy and let me know if you liked it.

As the summer progressed, Johnny’s concussion symptoms became few and far between.  Patrick couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Together, the boys had agreed to let Sharpy take his trip to Thunder Bay, feeling that Patrick could handle Johnny when he got to the low points. Johnny was well enough now that he accompanied Patrick to go shopping or to the movies or even just on walks around the neighborhood. Johnny loved doing those things with Patrick but it was getting closer to the season and he hadn’t even been cleared for exercise yet. The media were getting more and more into that fact, predicting the success of the Blackhawks without their captain. Patrick was getting bombarded with questions about Johnny and he often came home from ice times angry. Johnny did his best to comfort Pat but he wasn’t the best at it.

  
  


Soft music was playing one night when Patrick returned home. He was about to go investigate when his phone buzzed. Dropping his hockey bag in the middle of the hallways, Patrick made his way through the living room towards the kitchen where he finally looked at the tweet.

**@88PKane Maybe you should just stay away from Johnny. Doesn’t look like you’re helping much.**

His phone clattered onto the counter and the sound brought Johnny into the kitchen.

“How was the practice?” He asked, walking closer.

Patrick was frozen in place, mind reeling.

“Kaner?”

Patrick scooped up his phone and bolted.

  
  


10 minutes later, Patrick was standing outside Sharpy’s house, hand raised to knock on the door. He might have to endure teasing for the rest of his life for running here but it seemed like a better option than returning home to Johnny.

He knocked hard 3 times and then stepped back, hands in his pockets.

The door swung open to reveal a small blonde girl staring up at Patrick.

“Uncle Pat?” She asked quietly.

“Hey Maddy… Is your dad home?”

She nodded slightly.

“Maddy, you shouldn’t open the door when Mommy’s not with you- Pat?” Abby rounded the corner, carrying a laundry basket under one arm.

“Hey Abby.” Patrick said, “Is Sharpy home?”

Abby frowned, “Yes” She gave Patrick a questioning look.

“Mind if I come in?”

“Sure.”

With Maddy following at his heels, Patrick made a beeline for the study where Abby said he could find Sharpy.

He didn’t even bother to knock, just stepped inside and accidentally kicked the garbage can.

“Ow… Why would you leave that in the middle of the floor?” Patrick yelled.

Sharpy spun in his chair about to make a cheeky retort but he saw Patrick standing there, face pale, eyes red, he stopped.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Johnny?” Sharpy asked, standing up.

“I can’t go back home.” Patrick blurted.

“Why?”

Patrick pulled out his phone and showed Sharpy the tweet, hiding his face.

“Maddy, please go ask Mom to make some coffee.” Sharpy said, closing the door behind Maddy.

He picked up his own phone and turned his back on Patrick, dialing a number.

“You need to go shower, I’ll find you some clothes and a towel.” He said, turning back to Patrick and raising the phone to his ear.

Patrick left the room, trying to remember where the washroom was. When he finally found it, he sat down on the toilet and buried his hands in his hair.

That’s where Sharpy found him, 10 minutes later.

“C’mon Kaner, get up.” He said fondly, placing a towel and a change of clothes on the counter beside Patrick. Patrick got up almost robotically.

  
  


The shower helped somewhat but coffee was really what he needed.

“Johnny would murder me if he saw that I was drinking coffee after hockey practice.” Patrick started to joke and then looked down.

“I called Johnny while you were showering.” Sharpy informed Patrick. “He doesn’t know why you’re here but he knows you’re ok.”

“Good.” Patrick managed.

“You need to talk to him Patrick.”

“I’m hurting him.”

“You are not.”

“I am.”

Sharpy sighed. “Patrick”

“Maybe I’m not helping him. I mean, what am I going to do when he’s not out there on the ice with me?”

“You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

“I’m nothing without Johnny.” Patrick protested.

Sharpy sighed and pulled Patrick’s phone towards him.

“Look at this tweet.” He held it up to Patrick. “Who tweeted it?”

“Some fan” Patrick said. “Your point?”

“My point is that ‘some fan’ isn’t a doctor.” Sharpy reasoned.

“I know…”

“So she can’t tell you how to help Johnny.”

Patrick stayed quiet.

“Also, she doesn’t live in your house does she?”

“No…”

“Therefore, she doesn’t know what you have or have not done with Johnny.”

Again, silence.

“You’re being quiet because you know I’m right.” Sharpy said triumphantly.

“Fine.”

“Mm and you also received this text from Johnny before you got home” Sharpy added.

_Got cleared for exercise this afternoon. Still no contact though._

Patrick chuckled softly.

“Leave it to Johnny to be a pessimist.”

Sharpy shook his head smiling. “Go home to him will you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also... Formatting sucks


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